kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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