Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
