there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
we're so committed to being not committed
soo... how was my night?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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