turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
