in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
