careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
