What a fucking waste of an outfit
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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