im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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