my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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