Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
