I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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