a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
