I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
