Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
