a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
