Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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