I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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