I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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