when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
