you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
