Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm passing your future prison.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
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