I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
