I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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