I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize