I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
