yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
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Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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