I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i want to swaddle you in tequila
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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