I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
