Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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