She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
did you just send me my own nude
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
