There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
