Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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