Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize