i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
