he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
