we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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