Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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