Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
