Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
