I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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