and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
