you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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