Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
