my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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