Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
