Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
