so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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