you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
