it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm both gender and math confused
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
