fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
