I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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