"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
