Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize