And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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