i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Reggie can tackle my bush.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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