I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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