You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
