Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
