I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
