Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
