my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she looked like the before picture.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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