he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
