no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
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I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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