Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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