Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
