Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
