my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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