You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
