U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
