After last night, I could never be a politician.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
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