i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
