Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
well, you know. whores of a feather.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
