I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Pooping to opera.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
