We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
