Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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