My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
