Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
